First of all, I want to apologize to those of you who have been following my blog. It’s been too long since my last post. I am continually thankful for the support that I receive from you all as it has led to a year full of the unexpected.
From the time I was born, there was a plan for my life. Preschool, Elementary School, Junior High, High School, College, and although this volunteer year was a big decision, it was one that I had known I wanted to do for a while. I had a plan for this year as well. I planned to fall in love with Miami, feel called to a particular vocation, find an awesome job in that particular vocation, and be on top of the world. Happily ever after.
Now, almost 6 months into my life in Miami, I am realizing that things are not going according to plans. I’m not as in love with Miami as I had hoped, I don’t feel a calling towards anything for the future, I’m not sure if I will stay here to get a job, and honestly, I’m frustrated.
There is an old Yiddish proverb that says, “Man plans, God Laughs.” If this is true, God must be having a heyday right now watching me squirm over my failed plans. Although things are not going as I wanted them to, and I have not been able to discern what I want for the future, I have been able to discern the things that are wrong for my future. It has taken me a while to come to terms with it, but I am starting to realize that this might be an equally important part of the puzzle.
So, although I am not discerning a call to seminary or another year in the program like my roommates, I am learning more and more everyday about the life I want to and don’t want to live. I am learning about where I have strengths and where I have weaknesses. I am learning about the people I want to surround myself with and who I don’t want to get caught up with. Most of all though, I am learning that my plans may change, and even if I can’t see it at first, they are changing in the right direction for me.
Here’s to another 6 months of God laughing while I try to figure out my next step in life!